Spreadsheet Simulator 2017

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Over the last few months I’ve been working particularly hard for many hours each week perfecting a couple of spreadsheets I created to help me with 1) Market Trading and 2) Mineral Acquisition and Production in Eve Online.

I never imagined I would make a spreadsheet so complex and am thoroughly pleased with myself that I have come this far with them. Over the last few weeks I have used my Production sheet to help me calculate the Ore amount I need to mine to produce an Aeon Supercarrier, mined the appropriate minerals and almost have the capital parts built ready for the ship hull to go into production. This process has given me new ideas and shown me flaws in the spreadsheets that I can work on to reach perfection.

A long running issue I had with my Market Trading spreadsheet was that the custom functions that ran to pull live price data from the Eve-Central API were timing out Google’s daily cache limit. An Alliance friend was able to rectify this for me by re-writing the functions used so that the data is all pulled from the same function, not numerous. This cut five API calls per item down to two and I have not had any cache limit issues since. This was a BIG step forward in the progress of the Trading sheet, which I have completely re-written from my original sheet which worked well, but wasn’t perfect after the cache issues.

I have been heavily involved in the Alliance Industry for a few months now and after a department restructure I have been made an Alliance Officer to oversee the mineral acquisition for our capital production programme. It’s a great honor and a lot of work, but I enjoy it and we’re well ahead of the target that was set. We’re seeing new Corporations join the Alliance each week and higher numbers in the Alliance mining Ops that are run which is also fantastic.

I’m considering selling access to my spreadsheets once they are at a level that could be considered “finished”, as at the moment whilst they are functionable there are still parts that need completing. I have no idea how much to charge for this and am worried that it’s easy for somebody to simply clone and redistribute, so need to think about it a tad more.

Right now I am mining a few more rocks to have enough minerals to add to the left over supply from the Aeon build to build two Chimera Carriers that a Corp friend and I can drop on people without worrying about them getting dead!

Last week on Eve.

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I had a lot of fun on Eve last week. We were thrown into an interesting situation and took a lot of assets that did not belong to us because we saw the opportunity to do so. Bragging about it on Reddit may not have been the wisest move, but we did anyway: [Click]

What I failed to make clear in the post was that we started to accept the contracts after our 48 hours of blue standings had finished and that the “grace period” we were given to evac only allowed us access to the Keepstar – we couldn’t dock anywhere else.

We knew Co2 would reimburse the losses, so this was hitting the Alliance and not individuals. Interpret it how you like.

The best part about it is one of the contracts we took belonged to one of our own corporation members. We had seen this before we accepted the first contract and had agreed to pay them the value of the contract when we next see them to explain exactly what happened. We paid them a little more than what the Jita value was and they were thrilled with what we had done. They were even more thrilled the day after when Co2 reimbursed them for their contract. If only we knew they’d do that and we could have set up a few contracts on alts to get a bit more value of out it all!

We’re quickly settling into our new home with The Methodical Alliance [TMA] and are looking forward to what they and the game has to offer us for the future. The Rorqual changes are live and we’re keen to start mining and producing capital ships again like we were before the war. Now that we’ve had the Alpha clones for a couple of days we should probably log them off and log in the Omega’s.

The Alpha clones aren’t that bad compared to a paid Omega one. It’s a bit of fun and gives you something to do other than your usual Eve activities. I’m running the missions to kill some time but have decided to keep that character completely separated from any of my others. It’ll earn its own ISK and stay in its NPC corp for the time being.

…you make Orange Juice.

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Part One: When life gives you lemons…

Meanwhile on Reddit:
“…So I would expect them to go after Co2 on a personal level shortly, attempt to stir up malcontent and drama within Co2 to try and pry those cracks apart…”

Little did they know this had already started to happen. Circle of Two were so very quick to remove us from the Alliance leaving assets stranded and an active PVP corporation without a home. Granted, the past couple of weeks were slow for us, but we were keeping well ahead of fleet participation requirements (within the top third of corps in the Alliance for October).

A fatal mistake was made. They didn’t remove our characters from the Bluehogs Alliance logistics corporation.

Bluehogs runs as follows:
– You create a courier contract to bluehogs for your assets to be moved so you don’t have to do it.
– You must not put a collateral on the contract and it must have an evepraisal link in the info to show what the contents of the contract contains.
– The reward is based on m3 and the value must not exceed 1bn ISK.
– Raw Ore may not be transported from Null to High Sec, it must be sold within the Alliance and ships/containers must be repackaged.

If you follow these rules your contract is insured so if it is lost the Alliance will pay you the value. If you do not follow the rules it is not insured. Many people don’t follow the rules.

Starting at about 3am on Saturday 13th we started accepting all contracts headed from Jita to Null. Later in the day we started to take those leaving citadels in Null destined for Jita.
At 8pm we took the rest and failed every single one of them. Co2 were out in one of the Kinakka Wafflehaus fleets at this time.

49 contracts totalling over 35 Billion ISK. [1|2]


Will Co2 pay out for the many incorrectly made contracts, or allow even more members to be alienated from them until the inevitable happens? From the first news of this war breaking out we, as a corporation, always said we would stand by Co2 until the bitter end. I guess it was a bitter end.

So long, and thanks for all the ISK.


When life gives you lemons…

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I logged into Eve Online the other day to find that we (the Ciggy Butt Brains. corporation) had been insta-kicked from Alliance (Circle-of-Two). Bummer.

No reason was given, but we were out. After a few hours of incredibly vague answers as to why, we finally got a solid response. Our corp CEO agreed to provide Alliance-level intelligence to the enemy.

<Insert Patrick Stewart and Jonathan Frakes double facepalm meme here>

No, he didn’t.
A few days ago another Director in the corp received a confusing eve-mail from another pilot who is part of Northern Coalition. (“NC.” / the enemy). Point 1. To sum it up in one line it said “…if you’re still interested in what we spoke about let me know and we can work something out, or we’ll rat you out to your Alliance” – pretty confusing if you’ve never had contact with this guy, right? Point 2. It was shrugged off and ignored as you would with any kind of junk mail coming through your letterbox.
The evidence to show our CEO was corresponding with the enemy was a pastebin conversation between “xxxx” and our CEO. To sum it up “xxxx” offered 1 Billion ISK per month for intel on Alliance Fleets. Our CEO is worth a Trillion ISK. 1 Billion per month is nothing to him. Point 3.

In this conversation “our CEO” uses emoji’s and words he doesn’t ever use in real life. Point 4. Oh, and he’s not logged in for a couple of months. Point 5.
As well as this, the “xxxx” to cover up the name of the NC. pilot were also placed over one of the first lines where our CEO’s name should have been put instead. Point 6.
If you’re going to forge a pastebin, do it a bit better please.

Our 24 hour grace period of having blue standings to evac was extended to 48 hours to ensure we could get all of our members out with as little loss as possible but because neither GigX or ourselves could prove the other wrong without doubt the decision stands that we will leave Co2. Thanks for believing the enemy over a loyal Corp GigX…

We’ve found a new home and it has given us a new enthusiasm to play. It’ll probably take a week or so to get settled in, but the Ascension update is due in a couple of days, so that should prove fairly interesting for all.

Oh, and another corp in Co2 was kicked the day before us for camping a gate with a bubble… Yeah…

Life, the Universe and Everything

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I’ve recently found something I would like to really set out and push myself to achieve – learning how to skateboard. Pretty hilarious for those of you who know me. For those of you who don’t, I’m 105kg and sit on my arse all day playing video games. A bit of a narcissistic twat too to be frank.

For a long time now I’ve been unhealthy both mentally and physically but in the last few weeks I’ve been feeling more optimistic about life. Two things have directly resulted in this.

1) Spending less time playing video games. For the past couple of years I’ve sat on my arse all day playing video games – the last year this has been Eve Online. I’m scared to check my API key to see how many hours I’ve played on my main character because I could quite happily sit there for twelve plus hours a day playing and often would. The last week or two I’ve not played as much simply because of the war but it’s been great. Granted, I’ve spent a lot of time playing Terraria and have enjoyed it, but overall I have spent less time sat at my PC.
I’m not going to stop playing completely, as it’s something I enjoy, but I am going to cut down completely on how long my PC is even turned on in the day let alone how long I play video games for.

2) Finding something I want to do with myself. I’ve been watching hours of videos a day on YouTube of skateboarding, have done a lot of research into what I should get to start out and am feeling very optimistic about starting to learn. I’m going to feel like a complete tit whilst learning to actually stay on the thing and my whole anxiety around people thing is still quite prominent, but at least I’m actually wanting to go out for once. The only problem I have right now is money. It’s going to be a couple of months until I can afford to buy myself a skateboard which will last.
This is the first thing I’ve wanted to do with myself for a long time which is good. Not only will I be learning a new skill but I will also be getting more exercise and will become healthier over time. I’m going to up my game at the gym too, as well as watch what I eat more than I have been.

One thing I think will help is to blog more frequently. It’ll give me a sense of accountability as well as crossing the comfort zone and push myself a bit more. Let’s face it, I’ve had this blog set up for years now and have never truly blogged.
My argument as to how you should correctly alphabetise your movie collection went on for over an hour with my friend Andy today and we came to the agreement that we should form some sort of research paper to find the ‘correct’ method. It’s a bit of fun, but I think I might take it seriously to give me something else to do. Who knows, my opinion may change by the time it’s complete.

On an ending note for today, I’ve been thinking about changing my blog URL. It’s something I’d require some cash for of course so may not happen for a while, but if I do I’ll make sure the current one redirects to the new one. I’ve already started to refocus the blog style so Eve Online is another part of the site rather than being what it’s all about, but I’ll be happy with how it looks at some point and stop making visual changes!

War is a complete game changer

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The way I play Eve Online has drastically changed since PANFAM declared war on Co2.

I used to sit in my Nidhoggur all day ratting and when a fleet came up I’d death clone back to M-O to go take part. Now I’m not logging in as much and have started to play different games at times I would normally have been making ISK. When the pings go out for important fleets I’ll log in and take part – thankfully I can fly the majority of the doctrines so I don’t need to worry about what I can fly on fleets.

I don’t mind the fact that the way I play the game has completely changed, but I will be glad when the war is over so I can make regular ISK again so I can continue my plan of running a good industry fleet and also owning a super capital. The issue the alliance has (as with any alliance at war) is that the people who don’t want to make the change will most likely pack up their stuff and leave to another alliance. There’s nothing wrong with this, at the end of the day they pay to play the game so they should be able to play it how they want to – unfortunately it leads to even the most unexpected people leaving a group of friends who have played for hours each day for the last few months.

Even with the many thousands of people who play the game I somehow manage to bump into those who I’ve played with over the last year. Someone who I played with in the very first days started a conversation with me the other day, I hadn’t noticed him in the system I was passing through, but he’s now flying with our allies (TEST). Another person I used to fly with I’ve seen on my fleet broadcasts a couple of times recently as he joined NC.!

We’re into the fourth week of the war and I honestly expected it to at least be onto the 2nd battle of M-O by now. Who knows, it might steamroll one night when we can’t get enough numbers, or PL finally turn up.

I’m not so good at this “blog” thing, am I?

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Every time I load my blog I say to myself “I’m going to blog more frequently”.
The reality: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwW-amtGOWI

This time I’m really going to try to put in effort to blog more often. I’m enjoying Eve Online more than ever, there’s a new Pokémon game coming out next month and I’m rather keen to take up skateboarding (really).

In the last couple of days in Eve Online I’ve had the chance to take my most expensive combat ship out (a Naglfar) on a high risk “dread bomb” run to help take down one of the biggest ships in the game (a Ragnarok) and just a few hours ago was in the fleet that took down two Revenants. (12) – Only 7 other of these space turds had been killed previously and are worth a smegging fortune.

We (Co2) are at war defending our home territory at the moment, so my usual Eve activities (earning as much money as possible) have halted and I’m enjoying myself ten times more than before. Whilst the time spent in game has reduced I’m looking forward to every fleet and just hoping that we see a fight. When this war ends I’ll need to spend a few weeks recuperating some money, but as long as I manage it better than I manage my real world money I’ll be good.

Moving away from Eve…

I’ve been watching a channel on YouTube recently called Braille Skateboarding to the point where I am trying to figure out how to say to my Dad “Hey Dad, I’m 23, weigh 15 stone and want to start to learn how to skateboard”… It’d help with my fitness, which I have been working on (poorly), and will get me out of the house. My brother is up for learning with me and one of my friends said he’d convert his BMX to a street setup when I get a board – which will be happening.
Something else I want to do is record my progress learning how to skate and get it onto YouTube so I can track my progression. I’ve tried YouTube before and eventually removed virtually every single video (I’m a nut, didn’t you know?), but I think this is going to be something that is very positive for my mental and physical health. It must be, I can’t remember the last time I had an ambition and looked ahead at my own future. (Deep, I know, but it’s true).

I’ve got some new screenshots to upload soon and will probably update my blog background at some point and am keen to keep blogging about my Eve adventures. For those of you familiar with my YouTube channel check back now and then as I do want to get more Eve battles uploaded, I just haven’t been recording recently as I was having issues with my graphics card which are now fixed (complete reinstall of graphics drivers on a brand new PC FTW!)


Why I will not be returning to Twitch

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For a while now I’ve been saying that I will be returning to streaming gameplay on Twitch. 

I’ve been hesitant about it but got to the point where all I needed to do was throw an overview together and hit ‘start streaming’ in OBS. Overviews for streaming EvE are simple – just out a location and chat blocker on and you’re good to go, so I was really just a few clicks away.

There’s multiple reasons why I have decided that I won’t be hitting the ‘start streaming’ button but the main reason is because I’ve watched too many streamers playing games (not just EvE) who are just horrendous hosts. There’s also those who take it way too seriously.

An example: I was ratting in a quiet system yesterday when a streamer flashed up in our Intel channel about 10 jumps away. I clicked onto his stream and saw that he was flying a Vagabond but most importantly nobody was with him or following him and he didn’t have a cyno fitted to his ship. I’m always aligned out to a safe parking spot whilst ratting and have eyes in neighbouring systems. My situation: I’m safe. I was almost at the end of the site I was running when he popped into local so I decided to try to finish the site before he inevitably warped in. He warped in about 70km away from me but I was out before he landed. I was always safe. A few minutes later he is caught on a gate in the system by two T3C’s so a Corp mate and I decide to Leeroy it by warping our carriers onto a distant purch to try to blap him. He died the moment we launched our fighters and within moments we had both warped back out to our safe parking spots.

At no point were either of our carriers in danger. There weren’t even wormholes in  the system or its neighbouring systems. Yes, I check before I start ratting in a carrier.

I say hi in the stream chat and make a Star Wars related ‘this was not the Nidhoggur you were looking for’ joke expecting a sporting response perhaps with a pinch of salt but instead got a barrage of abuse from the streamer. He explained how I was an idiot for ratting with a neutral in local and he could have quite easily have ‘warped to me cloaked and bumped me out of alignment before lighting a cyno’ and also commented about Co2’s recent loss of 6 Titans in SH1-6P saying how we must need the SRP for it (quite how that is relevant I don’t know!)

I knew exactly what he was flying, that he didn’t have a cyno or anybody with him and had been watching his name in the Intel channel for about twenty minutes before he reached my system. This was not a case of ‘oh shit there’s a neutral in system GTFO’.

Moving away from that particular incident…

EvE streamers get a LOT of abuse. It is not as clear with more popular streamers as they have a fan base, but the trolls will be trolls and it doesn’t stay just within stream chat. They’ll go out of their way to locate the streamer, intercept them and send them back to high sec. But it doesn’t stay in game – someone I know received death threats and had the Police sent to their house after false reports were filed. This isn’t isolated to just EvE players, but I wouldn’t be able to mentally cope with the negatives of streaming again – I’d do it to have fun but the fun would be spoiled by those reasons, as well as the stress I’d put onto myself for needing to provide an enjoyable viewing experience.

YouTube is a different story. I can capture video and edit it to how I like, so I will be doing this more often. Rather than posting just fleet fights I’ll be trying to make some solo pvp videos too!

So, these are just a couple of reasons – there are others that stack up on top of the positive reasons to stream, the the negatives out-whey the positives.

TL;DR: I’m not going to be streaming again, but I will be uploading to YouTube more often.

Carrier at last!

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I’m finally in a carrier on my main character, so should have some fun with that soon. I need to train Jump Drive Calibration to 5 which will take a fair amount of time, but when it is I should be good to fly a carrier in Alliance fleets should they be called for.

My new PC is running like a champ and I’m slowly getting what I need together for recording gameplay for YouTube/Twitch. I think it’s more likely that I’ll upload videos to YouTube rather stream to Twitch, but I am keen to stream again now and then so I’ll be sorting overviews etc. out for if/when I decide to stream.

I’ll probably reactivate the skill queue on the character I’d use for it soon as it’s quite restricted to what it can use at the moment. It’s a very low Skill Point character and the original plan was to just use skill injectors to inject into whatever I’m wanting to fly but that’s going to turn out expensive, so an active training queue would go a long way.

Prison Break

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I’ve binge watched Prison Break for the first time over the last few days and I’ve enjoyed it a lot so far. I’m half way through season 4 and have managed to guess the majority of the twists but the best part about it? It’s linked with J.J.Abram’s ‘Lost’. It isn’t, but let me explain. Obvious spoilers ahead.

Season 1 is a normal story line, well written etc. just as Lost was.
Season 2 gets interesting where ‘the company’ in Prison Break and ‘the others’ in Lost become the clear enemy.
Season 3 involves a book which contains co-ordinates that are needed to get back to a place he went before. The island, right? No, unfortunately it turns out they’re not coordinates but another blueprint. A blueprint that leads to a hatch… A hatch in a store room which ultimately takes the heroes to the goal in Season 4.
Betrayal after twist later, Jacob shows up to buy the stolen device mid way through season 4.

Obviously not linked, but I bet someone with enough time on their hands could write up a convincing theory connecting the two universes. Now, to finish watching season 4!